Trixie's fat knees

2009-06-12T17:31:00.000-07:00

seriously disco video by the gossip, who are easily my favourite band at the moment. But what the fuck is going on with beth's stylist in that first scene? Normally beth looks amazing, but who ever styled her hair and make up failed dismally. Luckily I love her anyway....

World Environment Day

2009-06-05T03:02:00.000-07:00

Today's world environment day. Climate change is happening. There's a nation wide rally on the 13th of June and here's why you should come:

The rudd govn't were elected on a promise to sign kyoto and reduce carbon emissions. The scheme about to be pushed through parliament is grossly inadequate and rewards big polluters. Some of the features are:

* min 5% target below 2000 levels by 2020. There's been a recent increase to allow a highly conditional, fundamentaly hypothetical increase to 25% if Australia can convince China and the US to sign on in copenhagen. (yeah, right) The IPCC recommends that we need to reduce emissions by 25 - 40% to limit a global temperature increase to 2 degrees. And even then, there's still a 26% chance we'll exceed this temperature.

* Scheme has been pushed back and will not begin until 2011

*In the first year of the scheme, big polluters will get free permits meaning they won't have to pay for 95% of their emissions anyway.

* Big polluters will be allowed to buy unlimmited permits from overseas, which means australia can essentially keep polluting, and not reduce our emmissions by a single tonne.

This legislation cannot be passed through parliament. Once through the senate, it basically becomes law and will be difficult to change. We need to get it right before we make it law and we need to do it soon.

Check the details here

2009-06-05T02:47:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm.... seems I just remembered I have a blog. It's been over a year since I've written anything which is odd because there's been a lot of drunken ranting over the last 12 months.... happy world environment day

thing gives birth

2008-07-04T01:07:00.000-07:00

Thomas Beatie and his mixed bag of reproductive organs finally spat out a healthy baby girl.

Is anyone else kind of offended by this? Don't get me wrong, I have no issues with trans gender individuals but surely you don't pick and your parts. I firmly believe that if you want to grow a dick, you forfeit all rights to your vagina, no saving it for a rainy day. All or nothing I say!

alexander downs the fishnets

2008-07-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

I’m not really sure how Alexander Downer came to be one of my favourite politicians. I vehemently oppose most of the things he stands for and find many of the decisions made during his 11 years as Australia’s Foreign Minister to be reprehensible, yet somehow he still holds a place in my heart.

Upon his retirement, some have commented that his willingness to display a more human side, typified by his now infamous 1996 donning of a pair of fishnet stockings, has endeared him to many. I think it’s more than that though. Call me crazy, but I’ve always thought Mr Downer to possess a quality that most politicians find lacking, integrity. Sure, I didn’t agree with what he had to say, but he was always factual and rational, he didn’t change his opinion every five minutes in response to the latest opinion poll. A trait I unfortunately find admirable. At least now, as he moves to a role as the ‘United Nations' special envoy for Cyprus,’ his powers will be used for good and not evil.

the time's they are a changing

2007-10-13T04:27:00.000-07:00

So it appears that MySpace is dead. Since I've grown quite fond of it's retarded cousin, facebook, I've never really paused to lament the demise of the site that brought together narcissists, megalomaniacs and suicidal emos alike but must admit I do miss its blogging function. While not a regular blogger, I do enjoy the odd rant and as the queen of procrastination, with semester's end fast approaching I need something to waste my time with to ensure maximum freakout the night before exams.

So because I had the choice tonight of much needed homework, watching 'son of mask' or setting up my very own personal blog, I've gone for option number three and painstakingly transfered all my old post over....... looks like it's not just the MySpace users that are dangling from the trees

Tori Amos - MIL*F

2007-10-13T04:07:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying that there are no words to adequately describe Tori Amos live. Just be aware that my attempt could not possibly come close to doing her justice. Her tracks when played in person, blow the studio versions away. You see her and she creates a world so magical that you just want to crawl up inside, curl up under the bosendorfer and never leave. Ever. You don’t want there to be anything else.

Santa opened the show. Initially I was a little disappointed, (not that it stopped me crying) I’d really been hoping for either Pip or Clyde having not really connected with the work of Santa or Isobel. Not to mention after getting drunk with you, Mr Ali, on Saturday night and then the joint consumption of 5 bottles of red and a greener shade of cigarette with Biancs on Sunday afternoon, I was feeling reasonably exhausted and looking for some tori of the more chilled variety. Not to be. Santa ran out and launched straight into a rocking rendition of body and soul. I have only one word for you; PORN. I’ve never wanted to fuck something so bad in my entire life, so bad it fucking hurt. I really don’t think the raw sexuality of that woman translated very well on the album. After that she played god, which was quite close to the album version as she was touring with a three piece band complete with pre recorded backing vocals. Then she played dragon which was the turning point where Santa officially became my new favourite doll, so haunting that I was again a bit teary. After this, the exact set list starts to get a little blurry, and my shit house internet skills mean that I haven’t yet found the complete list online.

So after Santa’s introduction she ran off to make way for tori who appeared on stage in A ONE PIECE GOLD SEQUINED ONE SHOULDERED PANT SUIT. It was the hottest thing I have EVER seen. Hideous, in all the right ways. She played the most amazing 5 minute intro to bells for her, with the bose in one hand and the organ with the other. It was spine tingling, heartbreakingly beautiful. SHE PLAYED SPACE DOG and the arrangement was UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!! I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t even recognise it at first, (needless to say, cue tears when I worked out what it was) she began with an ad-libbed intro on the organ before switching to rock it on the piano. Again… hot. Those two tracks along with taxi ride which she played solo were the highlight of the night. Oh and she played precious things which is my sentimental favourite so I’m pretty fucking happy to have seen it live.

She didn’t really talk much with the audience, apart to talk about coming back to Australia and an endearing little improv along the lines of the Lyndsay Lohan thing I sent you asking what Australians eat for breakfast because her luna bars got confiscated at the airport and she almost threw her kid out the window after eating them. In the encore she played tear in your hand where she “totally just fucked that up” and made the band take it back to the bridge before fucking it up again. It was so cute. Saddly, she also alluded to the fact that this may be her last tour, which makes sense as her daughter’s probably just about to start school and Tori’s not the type of women to sacrifice her child’s stability for her career.

It was a very different to last time. The band was much better than I’d expected, especially the drummer Matt Chamberlin (whose been on all of her albums but I’ve ever really taken much notice of). I’ve seen footage of her with support and it’s nothing compared to her playing solo so, needless to say, I was a little apprehensive. I think the band meant a loss of intensity, but this was offset by a massive increase in energy and I don’t really think intimacy was really affected. I mean it’s not like you took your eyes off her. Emotionally I was a lot more together than last time as well. I got teary at times but there wasn’t the full on sobbing I experienced the first time I saw her. I’m not sure if it’s because it was a rockier, high energy performance or because I’d taken someone with me or because I’d lost the impact of seeing her for the first time. Chris – you would have been happy just as I was to see four songs from pink and two from earthquakes but Adem you would have been disappointed that there was nothing from Choirgirl.

I’m so lucky to have seen her twice with two very different shows. It’s pretty hard to pick a winner because they are both so far beyond anything I have ever, and probably will ever see again. But to be fair, I really can’t overlook my reaction to her last tour and the fact that she’d played take to the sky AND yes, Anastasia but like I said really really fucking close. Still on a bit of a high, don’t know how I’m possibly going to write this fucking assignment that I’ve got due tomorrow but I’ll just keep listening to tori and hopefully the answer will come to me!

Original Post Date: None, this was an email to friends

also the best quote ever

2007-10-13T03:45:00.000-07:00

Dave Grohl on Paris Hilton:

"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her."

that's hot

best quote ever. EVER

2007-10-13T03:34:00.000-07:00

Bob Brown's response to the political debate surrounding Kevin Rudd's trip to a strip club and getting so pissed that he can't remember what happened:

"Four years ago Kevin Rudd got drunk and took himself into a strip club," Senator Brown said. "Four years ago John Howard, sober, took Australia into the Iraq war. I think the electorate can judge which one did the more harm."

BAM!

original post date: 20 Aug 2007

raping the environment is fun. not.

2007-10-13T03:31:00.000-07:00

I had the ummm…. privilege a few weeks ago of watching "the great global warming swindle" Let me start by saying that I was drunk, possibly stoned and generally a little on edge. In this altered state I failed to recognise the documentaries complete lack of credibility and enraged, went on an incoherent tirade attempting to point out all the gross inaccuracies. I think most of my sentences went uncompleted.

All of this would have been fine had I just watched the documentary alone, but I had the misfortune of scoring an audience for the night. Chris understood, he's used my general shitness, but unfortunately my ex-boyfriend had decided to stop by. With each of my outbursts he became more and more uncomfortable, contorting himself into positions that no human could find enjoyable. In a word: awkward.

So mortifyingly embarrassed, I am going to try and redeem myself by expressing my thoughts somewhat more articulately and outlining my main concerns with the "Greenhouse gases aren't bad" argument. Of course, I can't directly counter any of the arguments made in the documentary as I can't remember them, but I'm pretty sure I got the drift.

Basically, CO2 absorbs heat. Post industrial revolution has shown increased levels of atmospheric CO2. Increased levels of CO2 in the atmosphere means increased global temperature.

Anti global warming campaigners put forward a very convincing argument; there's no conclusive evidence that the catastrophic events prophesized by those no good hippy socialists will come to fruition. And they're absolutely right when they say that there is no definitive proof that current changes to global climatic events and atmospheric CO2 levels are the result of anthropogenic activity. How fucking insightful. After all, my doctor can't provide me a 100% guarantee that if I smoke a 25 pack of winnie blues every day that I will get lung cancer. Nor can they guarantee that I will develop heart disease or emphysema or even that I'll suffer from minor symptoms like shortness of breath, yellowed teeth or (horror of horrors) premature wrinkles. Best of all, even if I have the misfortune to contract one of these minor ailments there's really no way of knowing for sure if the cancer was caused by my nasty cigarette habit, or the result of my genetic make up. But the millions of dollars our governments pour into health campaigns and support networks encouraging the public to quit would suggest it's a risk we shouldn't be willing to take.

What people seem to forget is that this is a predictive science. There are so many potential outcomes dependant on a huge number of variables. At the end of the day, no one knows for certain what's going to happen and yes, it is possible that there will be no adverse affect on the environment. (It's also possible that one I will oneday fulfill my ultimate goal of marrying vince noir or go an entire month without consuming any alcohol) Egos aside, I doubt there would be a single scientist predicting adverse affects of climate change that would not be pretty fucking happy if time proves them to be wrong. The skeptics will gloat, say I told you say and talk about what a waste of time all our precautions were. I don't think the outcome will be so happy if the situation is reversed.

The reason to stop greenhouse gas emissions should not be because science has predicted the catastrophic consequences of continuing with current emission trends. It should be because commonsense tells us that the environment just won't take all the shit we keep throwing at it. Just like when we keep polluting our bodies, the chances are that something is going to give. When we have the technology to use environmentally safe, renewable energy alternatives there's really no excuse for using continuing to exploit fossil fuels given that we are unsure of (but have a pretty good idea of) the consequences. We know better.

I would just like to finish this by stating that I do not, nor have I ever smoked Winfield Blues. I'm cheap, but not that cheap. And yes, I am trying to reference rape in as many of my blog titles as possible.

Global warming means that polar penguins will no longer require wooly jumpers for protection from the cold. Do you want to be responsible for ruining winter fashion for our furry friends?

original post date: 29 Jul 2007

celebrating 6 rape free months in geelong!

2007-10-13T03:28:00.000-07:00

Apart from the obvious and as much as I'd hate to damage my surly reputation, life's actually pretty sweet right now. For the first time in my life not only do I know exactly what I want to do but have every confidence in my ability to do it well. I absolutely can't wait to become a teacher and if you've had a conversation with me over the last month, I'm sure you've been bored to tears hearing me rambling about the kids that I work with and more often than not, how fucking retarded some parents are. A bottle of coke, A coffee big M, two sugar bars and hot cakes collected from the McDonalds drive through on the way to care does not a good lunch make. Can anybody say Ritalin?

School rocks, I totally nailed it. I did really well, especially since I almost had a complete meltdown mid semester. HDs and shit! It's so good to be using my brain and learning stuff that actually matters. I've always joked that my religion was darwinian but after the last semester I think this may be true. I'm totally in love with evolution and behavioural biology and if darwin was still alive and hot I'm sure I'd offer him a blow job at the back of the nash.

The other love in my life is of course my new puppy, cookie monster. She's a total minx and rampant slut. The beautiful girl has a habit when she encounters strange dogs of rolling on to her back, spreading her legs as wide as they go and letting the other dog have a good sniff. Like mother, like daughter I guess. The unfortunate thing is, as I learnt at puppy school on a sunday morning feeling VERY seedy, that this is a very special trick that she seems to reserve only for FEMALE dogs. That's right ladies and gentlemen, my dog is a fucking lesbian.

So, far be it for to write a blog of sunshine and lollipops, I'll have you know that everything most certainly is not coming up millhouse. Over the last week I have been sick, fucked my back, found a lump on my breast (It's okay, I've worked out what it is, but I did spend a few dark days regretting the number of questionable references I've made to Belinda Emmett) and got a message from the only boy in Geelong worth shagging to let me know that he has moved back to the UK.

Then this: Courtney Love is dating Noel Fielding. I'm absolutely gutted. Why does the sexiest man alive feel the need to pollute his good name with that manky whore??? That women is the bane of my existence. Don't get me wrong, Ms Love is still my hero and everything I aspire to be but fuck I hate the wench. I think watching this actually hurt more than getting dumped...

original post date: 21 Jul 2007

Q. When is it okay to love a fat man?

2007-10-13T03:25:00.001-07:00

A. When that fat man is Brandon Davis.

I'm not really sure why people hate this guy. Even before he went on this 3min tirade about the world's skankiest uber slut, (and not in a good way) Lindsay Lohan, he held a special place in my heart. It's not that I find him particularly attractive or witty or intelligent. It's his arrogance that makes him truly hot. His complete disregard and disrespect for everyone or anything that only true wealth can allow. His sweaty pores scream ostentatious money and you know he'll always be able to buy his way into and out of anything.

This video poses some interesting questions. How many grams of coke can Brandon Davis snort in one night? Why are there billionaires WALKING the streets of Los Angeles, rather then being chauffeur driven between clubs? How the fuck did Paris get her drivers license? Actually, I think I can guess the answer to that last one. My personal favourite? "I think she's work about $7million, which means she's really poor. It's disgusting"

Brandon Davis: My hero

Original Post Date: 10 Apr 2007

You'd think an environmentalist would give a shit about the environment, yeah?

2007-10-13T03:21:00.000-07:00

There's a class I take at school 'society and environment.' It's a core unit for conservation biology students and an elective for anyone else. You'd be sane in assuming that students undertaking this unit would give a fuck about the environment, right? Well, apparently not.

During an online discussion, the question was raised to whether we would consider drinking recycled water. I was overwhelmed by the number of people that were quite passionately opposed to this idea. I understand that the idea is kind of icky and that there is huge job in convincing the general public that it's safe to drink (which once treated properly, it will be) but I would have thought that conservation students would have kept a more open mind.

Australia has been in drought for almost a decade and predictably, it's only now when the realisation hits that our water may actually run out, that our government decides to do anything. It's all very well to throw $14billion to the Murray Darling Basin, but has anyone posed the question "do you think we should continue to irrigate land that's clearly not (naturally) suitable for the production of fruit?" Not that I'm saying that's necessarily the solution, I'm not so naive to ignore the hundreds of livelihoods depend on the fruit production, but if you want to provide a real solution a start would be to acknowledge the real problem.

It's an excellent example of society's love of bandaid fixes. Rather that addressing the actual problem, we find a solution that enables us to continue raping the environment but with the smallest possible impact on our economy (and indulgent lifestyles.) In Melbourne alone, 485,000 million litres of drinking water is used each year. This water is used in industry, in gardens, to flush toilets, and for us to drink. Less than 10% of this water is then recycled, the other 90% released back onto the ocean at a quality that's already cleaner than most of the worlds drinking water.

Recycled water is already being used successfully in many countries in the world. It's used in Orange County for fuck's sake. If the superficial, vacuous Californians can happily consume water that has been through a toilet system, surely and educated, environmentally aware conservation student would be able to.

Instead of being clever about the water we already have, our solution is to cry more, more, more! Why reduce our water consumption when we can build a new damn? Why recycle our used water when we can build an environmentally damaging, CO₂ emitting desalination plant? Why change our way of thinking about the way we use our very much finite resources when we can continue raping our planet?

Original Post Date: 08 April 2007